She definitely does not love that or this or any of it. America’s heart collectively broke alongside Becca Kufrin’s as Bachelor Arie Luyendyk Jr. broke off their engagement on national television on Monday, March 5—and she had much to say about his actions in a new interview with People.
Luyendyk, 36, proposed to Kufrin in Peru, leaving behind soft-spoken runner-up Lauren Burnham. “I felt like my heart was going to burst because it was just so filled with love to be with him and share that news with our friends and family. There was so much excitement and joy,” Kufrin said of receiving the final rose. “I never thought for a million years that once the going started to get tough that he would throw in the towel and jump ship and say, ‘Oh sorry, I changed my mind.’ I didn’t think we were at that point whatsoever.”
As recalled, Luyendyk rescinded his proposal on national television—a scene that was unedited and prompted much outrage at producers and the season lead himself. By then, the two were a couple and they were supposed to enjoy a weekend trip in L.A. when the incident took place.
“I thought we were just going to have a nice romantic weekend. The night before he had turned off his phone, which I thought was strange, and it wasn’t until the moment when he walked into the house when he didn’t have his suitcases with him, I was like What’s going on?” she recalled to People. “There was a better and more tactful way to do it. A breakup is hard enough, and to have it all filmed and have to re-watch it and know that people all across the country are watching you get your heart broken, it is embarrassing. It’s not fun. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It was like a slap in the face.”
One of the ways she knew Luyendyk was still in love with Burnham was his activity on her Instagram account. “At that point, I knew that he had liked some of her Instagram photos so we had a conversation about it,” Kufrin revealed. “And that was the first time that he really threw it out that he should have a conversation with her and just apologize for how things had ended with her, that he had felt guilty.”
Kufrin has spent time contemplating the best way Luyendyk could’ve handled the situation. “I wish he would have been more honest with me. From the questions I was asking, I would have appreciated the full truth,” she expressed. “I was obviously blindsided… At one point I asked him if he wanted to make it work with Lauren and his response was, ‘Yeah I want to try.’ So in that instance I knew. I knew at that point, okay I’m sure he’s going to try to make up for lost time and he’ll probably go there soon to make it work and to reconcile with her.”
A the end of the day, Kufrin was the direct recipient of betrayal. “I wish he hadn’t proposed. At that point I loved him and I wanted to be with him. Even if on that last day, he said, ‘I’m still uncertain, this is a big move, I don’t want to get down on one knee unless I’m 1000 percent sure, but I still want to be with you,’” she mused. “I would have been fine with that. I would have been like, ‘I love you, I still want to be with you.’ I even asked him a couple times if he felt like he was certain like that was the right move at that point and every time he said, ‘I’m happy with the decision and I feel confident in us.’”
She added, “He did get down on one knee, he did propose to me, he did say, ‘I’m committing to you, I choose you every day.’ That’s something that I only wanted to happen once in my life, and it’s been robbed from me ,and I can never have that one time moment again. And the second part is that he lied or hid his true feelings and emotions for weeks and weeks and weeks. The number one thing that I value in a relationship is honesty and loyalty, and I feel like I wasn’t given that.”
Tune in to the second part of the Bachelor finale on Tuesday, March 6, at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.