Fifty Percent of Couples Have One Common Vacation Argument: Here’s How to Prevent It

couples vacationFifty percent of couples have this argument on vacation. (Credit: Shutterstock)

Romantic getaways can transform into stressful situations when work enters the picture. Advisory firm Korn Ferry released a study in 2017 about what causes disagreements between couples on vacation (honeymoons, engagement-moons and anniversary trips included) and the overwhelming majority of couples hit snags over work—namely, because, they’re too attached.

According to the statistics, 88 percent of those surveyed said they’ve had to cancel or cut a vacation short because of work, and those couples who do manage to jet off to some distant, sunny locale often find themselves unable to detach from work emails and other obligations. Though the reasons why honeymooners tend to check in with the office varies, one overwhelming cause is because employees feel responsible for “putting out fires and getting pulled into critical issues.” (Fifty-three percent of those surveyed noted this as a reason for their technological attachment.)

Another reason is perhaps a little harder to parse out: a quarter of respondents said they check in with the office during vacations because they “enjoy the work”—which is great and all, but perhaps not best for romance. Interestingly enough, a majority of those surveyed (74 percent) said they would take the same amount of time off even if they were given unlimited vacation time, and 12 percent said they might take even less time.

There are several ways to counter this argument from creeping into your honeymoon or future anniversary trip.

Communicate With Your Partner

First, talking to your spouse about the boundaries you both set, in terms of being off the grid, will also help to alleviate any possible tensions. If you must check emails, do it during an agreed-upon time so that you don’t surprise your S.O. with a full workday when you technically should be spending quality time together at the spa or a cooking class. Also, we highly recommend marital and relationship health apps like Lasting, because it’s one way to build a strong foundation.

Alert Your Coworkers and Prepare at Work

A survey by TripAdvisor found that 91 percent of Americans admitted to checking their emails on vacation. If you let your coworkers know that you’ll be harder to reach (intentionally), most will kindly take care of any outstanding needs in the office while you’re away or spare your inbox so that you can enjoy your getaway without forwarding nonsense. Finally, remember to turn on that out-of-office alert and delete emails from your phone if you can.

Research Before Booking Your Property

To ensure you’re spending as much time offline and IRL as possible while on a vacation, book a resort that is conducive to allowing you to reach this goal. While some properties are known for being remote work “hotspots,” find those off-the-grid or luxurious destinations that will allow you to truly say, “I’m offline.”

If it’s unfeasible to go offline completely, allot a set amount of time for checking work emails each day, possibly no more than 15 minutes at a time. (An out-of-office on your email will help.) Several resorts and properties specifically designate WiFi-enabled locations, like a cafe on site, so that work emails and a constant barrage of texts and social media posts are contained and won’t further derail a romantic getaway for two.

That way, your face time with your loved one will be off the screen and not on it, and you can both really enjoy that quality time away together without any distractions. See our picks for remote and romantic resorts below.

sandals resort

(Credit: Sandals Royal Bahamian)

Romantic Destinations Where You Can Actually Unplug

Sandals Royal Bahamian, Nassau, Bahamas

The Duke and the Duchess of Windsor once frequented this romantic destination, meaning if it’s good enough for royalty, it sure is quite the romantic destination for couples. The adults-only, all-inclusive property has its own offshore island adventure, along with swim-up suites, butler services, specialty restaurants and plenty of activities and splendor to keep you and your partner preoccupied–and off your phones. Book here.

Chebeague Island Inn, Chebeague Island, Maine

This iconic and quiet, 21-room hotel is nestled off the coast of popular and trendy Portland, Maine. The population of Chebeague Island is comprised, during peak season, of tourists who’ll repeatedly return to the destination for their anniversary trips, as well as couples planning New England-meets-island-style weddings. The trip to the island (for some, it’ll require a plane, a car ride and a ferry ride over) is well worth it, and by the time you arrive, you’ll really want to unplug. Activities include catching fresh lobster (with a tour guide), eating said lobster for dinner, golfing, enjoying a yoga class overlooking the ocean, and bike riding along paved one-way streets where you can wave hello to generations of locals who’ve made this sweet spot their home. It’s romantic. It’s off-the-beaten path. It’s a place to get off social media and be present… with each other. Book here.

The Wauwinet, Nantucket Island

Nantucket itself is perhaps New England’s wealthiest enclave destination for couples and families on the East Coast. And on the island is a luxe property known as the Wauwinet. This hotel boasts of not only top-notch service, but also incredible hotel accommodations. More than anything else, couples jet-setting to ACK specifically stay at the Wauwinet to unplug and unwind. Plus, there’s so much to eat on site. The menu is seasonally-inspired and oysters are sourced right off the property. It went through a huge renovation last year, and is back and even better in 2020. Book here.

Montage Deer Valley, Park City, Utah

This slope-side property is renowned for its natural splendor, as much as it’s beloved for its services and amenities. The only property to allow ski-in and ski-out services in the area, the Montage is certainly one place where you can get service if necessary, but why waste your time? Book here.

Tonga, Polynesia

This untapped Polynesian kingdom boasts of 140 islands–all without residents. A true treasure trove for unplugged getaways, guests can enjoy a piece of paradise (and a real lack of internet) to help you enjoy an unplugged vacation surrounded by beautiful water, jungle and activities for every island lover. Book here.

About the Author

Esther Lee
Esther Lee
Esther is the Senior News Editor at The Knot. A self-proclaimed pop culture enthusiast, she appreciates a good celebrity interview just as much as she adores Nancy Meyers movies. You can find her kicking off her mornings with barre and a green juice, traveling and exploring new cultures, and rapidly scrolling her feed for the latest and greatest news. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @theestherlee.